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Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!

My New Year's Resolution - be kinder and less judgmental online

I've noticed just recently that a few people have complained here at HoL that they have been put off posting due to the risk of unnecessarily negative and derogatory responses. Working on the basis that the only person's behaviour I can change is my own, and that there are times when I have been guilty of this myself (please don't bombard me with examples of my own rudeness) I am making a New Year's Resolution to be kinder and less judgmental online and putting it "out there" as a gentle discussion topic.

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Permalink Reply by Antoinette on January 18, 2016 at 23:11
Think that horse has well and truly bolted for me now....je suis Antoinette et je ne regrette rien!
Permalink Reply by Finsbury Park Ranger on January 18, 2016 at 23:28
On the Internet, i find, you can either be honest behind a mask or lie without it. I much prefer masked honesty. When you reveal yourself you have to think about too many possibilities.

Future employees, future employers, frenimies, enemies , clients, burglars, customers, neighbours, psychotic or those lacking a sense of humour all tend to require too much thought I find, when prancing about naked online.
Permalink Reply by Michael Anderson on January 19, 2016 at 10:45
Think you missed an option. You can be honest and open about who who you are too. As for retribution, I've had my real name and photo ( though I have aged somewhat) since day 1 and no bricks through the window or assaults in the street. Also, I try not to post anything I might later feel bad about. And that's not about censoring myself, it's about considering the language I use
Permalink Reply by John D on January 19, 2016 at 11:29

You haven't changed a bit Michael

Still the debonaire boulevardier.

Permalink Reply by Michael Anderson on January 19, 2016 at 12:03
Is that a kind of streetwalker?
Permalink Reply by Gordon T on January 19, 2016 at 9:10

Occasionally I'll disagree with a comment but realise that to do so in print will only set them off again even worse.

I can tag a post as 'liked' on this forum, I can't tag one as 'disliked'. That option would be useful as an indicator of approval/disapproval without a trigger. It would be accountable since you can currently see which forum members have 'liked' a post.

Permalink Reply by Antoinette on January 19, 2016 at 13:42
I think that's a great idea. I wonder if it's possible....
Permalink Reply by Antoinette on January 19, 2016 at 21:40
I asked Liz about this but unfortunately it's not technically possible... nor is taking polls or votes... shame that..
Permalink Reply by Gordon T on January 24, 2016 at 9:12

Yesterday's spat about this thread   http://www.harringayonline.com/forum/topics/who-s-in-calling-all-go...  and the tone of the multiple attempts to have it shut down is exactly what I had in mind.

Permalink Reply by Chris Setz on January 22, 2016 at 11:57

Guess we all want to raise the debate.

I want people to go further with their kindness and take a physical step, get more involved locally, spread it around. I reckon it's good for us as people and I'll get more of what I want - support for the social values I think lead to a better world. What has been called 'community spirit'. We've apparently almost lost the 'Civic Pride' we used to feel, probably because of the abuse of power perpetrated on us by the civic realm. I still sense a pride in the local area though - I suppose one logic says that the place must be marvellous because you yourself live here :)

We can all live our lives more or less independent of our neighbours in this most anonymous of places so we have the luxury of choice. You can change persona according to context, work, home, online. Online isn't an extension of home or work, it's a different world, isn't it? A game-changing strength I see is the ability to connect people. Nobody need feel as isolated as they were in the steam age because there are whole 'communities' out there dedicated to intensifying whatever you're into. Face to face eventually if that floats your boat. Who here has not made friends online?

>>unnecessarily negative and derogatory responses

How you relate to the wider world may simply be an extension of how you relate to family and friends. We're all brothers and sisters to each other after all. The help people offer the poor and disadvantaged shows that love is all around us.

People who hate anonymously must see a reflection of their own personal lives in it - maybe they get what they deserve already? There's a lot of garbage in a lot of people's lives and I suppose it's only human to carry that around with you and fling back what you can. It's a cry for help.

There's a huge amount of unremarked kindness that sort of counterbalances. Lots and lots of people make generous online contributions completely freely (part of the so-called 'gift economy'). Maybe some of us are still playing catch-up?

Everyone can give their time freely and you see it a lot here on HoL - three cheers for us :)

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