John Toner of the Indy reports on the high levels of abuse that one couple receive on a daily basis:
A gay couple have told of their constant struggle with homophobia in Haringey.
Teacher Siobhan Wesley and her partner, charity worker Patricia Macleod, say they are subjected to threatening sexual and homophobic abuse in public on an almost daily basis.
The pair live separately in the Green Lanes area of Haringey but spend a significant amount of time together as a couple in public.
This has exposed them to an escalating level of threatening sexual behaviour from people, predominantly men, and violent threats and abuse purely because they appear together in public as a gay couple.
Ms Wesley, 29, said: “All the time this happens, we’re just walking along the street and we get people yelling sexual insults at us, men shouting what they’d like us to do to them and people just screaming ‘lezzers’ at us.”
Recently the couple were saying goodbye at the end of Siobhan’s street when a man exposed himself to them and began to sexually insult them for no apparent reason.
I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling that it is upsetting to read of this homophobic behaviour in the neighbourhood.
What should be done, as Ms Wesley suggests, to make local people aware that "queer people exist in this area, that it’s completely normal and that the comments they make are offensive and against the law."
UPDATED Sat 11th April
From GayHarrin website
Tags for Forum Posts: homophobia
Having lived here for over 10 years now with my same sex (male) partner I have rarely experienced homophobia, only some minor name calling from drivers that didn't hang around to deal with us. I wonder if homophobes being the cowards that they are, tend to pick on women more than men? It is indeed sad to read this.
My experience is that gay men are more visible in numbers than gay women, in Harringay, and that there isn't much time for people to get worried about how people are different from one another. We don't try to be "straight-acting" (horrible concept) but then we don't often hold hands, sad as that may be - it seems our experience as men is very different to these two women.
Dug
Certain men feel like they can say whatever they like to women. I was in Sainsbury's on West Green Road last week when some guys started saying "mademoiselle" to get my attention then calling me "putain". Actually in a shop, with a security guard present. Sexual harassment and street harassment is just a normal part of life. Add a layer of homophobia to that and I imagine it gets even worse.
I imagine there is a layer of misogyny to add to the homophobia as well.
I can understand the need to have these incidents reported to the police but it isn't enough. We all need to call out this stuff when we see it, rather than keep our heads down condemning it under our breath. It says a lot that these idiots feel they can openly intimidate people without expecting any challenge.
The more people that speak up when witnessing this stuff, the less normalised it becomes. Changing attitudes is a long term objective, but intervening when it occurs has the immediate effect of supporting those people suffering it, and demonstrating to other 'witnesses' that challenging this crap is also to be expected.
Yes I agree
However such actions also require skill. Its useful I think to bear in mind that such abusers are also people with sisters and female friends. I would counsel being mindful of becoming overly pumped up with self-righteousness although some belief is obviously necessary for resolve. Approach the situation leaving some room open for redemption, understanding, forgiveness, humour. I believe get this right and you will be standing up to this type of behavior more regularly. This is sincere engagement with life, prayer and fun!
Violence solves nothing, however... I am reminded of a story an old gay friend told me of when he was in a pub with his then partner, and they received some homophobic abuse from one of the other punters. My friend's partner turned to the abuser and punched him to the floor. "There", he said, "now you can tell all your friends you got beaten up by a poof".
This is all awful and I deeply sympathise with the victims of such behaviour but as I'm sure we all know there are all sorts of issues here involving race, gender, sexuality and religious belief. All four are pretty fundamental and they don't always live happily together.
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