How Nicholas Printers save my bacon

"No, HP Photosmart printer, there is no paper jam"

COMPUTER SAYS THERE IS - REMOVE PAPER JAM

"But I have taken you apart, there isn't any paper stuck in you."

COMPUTER SAYS THERE IS -REMOVE PAPER JAM

*sobbing* "There's no paper in there, please just work. I need this thing printed for tomorrow"

REMOVE PAPER JAM

(See my twitter timeline for my next outburst, this is a family website)

"I know, I know, I'll change your ink cartridges. Then you'll like me'

Ink cartridge explodes in my hand. Fingers now covered in black ink. Switches printer back on for 10th time

REMOVE PAPER JAM

*Collapses into the foetal position, cursing all technology*

I have to collect the kids in 15 minutes, but then I have an idea. I'll go and speak to one of the printers on Green Lanes on my way there. 

I enter Pemberton Mews and cautiously open the big door to the printers. A wonderful smell of new paper and printing ink hits me but it doesn't look like the kind of place that can do three copies of a dissertation in a hurry although a thousand leaflets clearly not a problem on the big, lovely printing machine

"Go upstairs," says the printer, "Nick will sort you out." 

I explain my predicament. I've brought my document in the wrong format. "No problem", says Nick, "change it to a PDF, email it me. Give me a ring and I'll tell you if I can print it for you."

Collected children settled with a Milky Way and a computer game (harassed mother's secret weapons), I proceed to convert the document and send. "Yep," says Nick. Come and collect it. I'm here until 5"

When I pick it up, it's much better than anything my crappy home printer could have produced. High quality illustrations, posh paper, no wonky printing or smudged ink. 

"A tenner" says Nick. I resist the temptation to throw my arms around him and hug him (just) and take my precious copies home for collation. 

I vow to tell the world about this wonderful little business. 

So that's what I'm doing.