Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!
Distraction burglary on the Ladder - Beware
Originally posted by meg benitez on another thread on HoL:
My 79 year old mother is a resident on the Harringay Ladder and has owned her home where she has felt safe for the last 46 years.
On Friday last week at approx 11am the door was knocked by someone pretending to need some water for his car. He was a big built 6 ft man with what the neighbour believes to be a Polish accent.
My mum opened the door to him then closed it and went off to get the water, opened the door to him again and gave him the water then unfortunately opened the door again to be given back the bucket to which he then pushed it in on top of her and proceeded to demand money with the threat of a large kitchen knife.
Fortunately he didnt harm her even though she began to shout and kicked him and made enough noise to attract the attention of the next door neighbour who started ringing my mums bell and asking, 'are you alright mum' to which the burglar opened the front door and ran off.
I have contacted friends who live locally and have heard that there has been 2 other distraction burglaries recently with the same description of the man given and cant help but think that if it were put out in the local media that it may save some other old dear from the same distressing fate. My mum knows not to open the door to anyone but somehow was fooled that morning but feel had she of read of a man operating in local streets previous to Friday-she would have been more wary.
Just wondering why the police do not insist on the news being put out, have read of recent ones in the Enfield area where i live and cant help but think forewarned is forearmed. Please warn any old dears you know locally that may be vunerable to this kind of thing.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Meg Brady on
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Thank you Anette and Ruth for your kind comments, Iv just come back from spending a rather pleasant evening with my mother where we managed to have a good old laugh and joke even about the incident and this is the best outcome of all that i could have hoped for her-that she is in good spirits and hasnt let it ruin her life. Im so proud of mum and of my 5 elder children who take it in turns to give her their time whenever she wishes, the detective in charge of the case was most impressed by the support network she has when he visited a few days after the incident.
I discussed with her the many messages on this site and my conversations with both crime management Haringey and the DC in charge of her case who was most helpful. Apparently they are deciding how best to go about warning the infirm and elderly of these crimes that have occurred locally and leafleting by the safer neighbourhoods team is a probable option as well as signposting on lamposts on the ladder and garden roads. Still waiting on phorensics and hopefully this will be fruitful in getting this menace to society off the streets.
My mum is touched by the messages of goodwill and happy that the news is spreading as she wishes for others to be armed with the knowledge that a not so genuine caller is on the prowl and should be questioned through a closed window and if still in doubt after that then phone your immediate neighbour to come out and clarify who the person knocking is.
Will update when there is more news but for now wish you all peace.
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Anette, by all means let's all be vigilant and use HOL to pass on our accounts of local crime and suspected crime. But let's stick to facts and helpful description insofar as we can ascertain them. Where a clearer picture emerges over the following hours or days, let's communicate that in a useful manner too. Where crime or the possibility of crime are concerned, even where that touches ourselves closely, let's make our accounts as reader friendly for our neighbours and as clear for police purposes as we can. Cool calmness, shorn of all colour or colourful and expletive language, might aid clarity. Like yourself, RuthE and others who have responded, I am not showing lack of concern for Meg Benitez's mother (who despite a stroke seems to be a doughty fighter with a cool head) but recommending a similar cool calmness in reporting her experience. While this incident is clearly more serious than most reported here, less emotive breathlessness in sharing our concerns (and less abuse of language) might help. And no, Anette, I didn't just start being what you may think as "horribly rude" in my more mature years: maturity comes only with lifelong practice.
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Permalink Reply by Margaret Fowler on
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If I am at home all day in Salisbury Road I get many rings on the doorbell which I ignore. I only answer the door when I am expecting a visitor or when I am expecting a parcel and I check out the window first. My visitors always ring me first. I do object to being called an old dear. I am 75 years old and am an old age pensioner at worst. If my family were to refer to me as an old dear they would be severely reprimanded. We are human beings.
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Permalink Reply by John D on
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News 29/2/12
Hospitals Told: Stop Using 'Old Dear' Term
A ban on the use of patronising language against older people by hospital staff and care workers is being called for in a new report.
It recommends that terms such as "old dear" and "bed blocker" must become as unacceptable as sexist or racist expressions.
Being treated with respect and dignity in any care setting should be a basic requirement.
Professor Trish Morris-Thompson, of NHS London said: "If somebody says 'oh, there's an old dear in bed four', that's patronising."
Way to go, Trish !
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Now Meg B, just look what you've started. N.I.C.E to know the NHS are listening to me. If they'd only listened to this old dear before foisting a metal-on-metal hip-joint on me I'd have less chromium in my bloodstream, more room for the alcohol, less chance of becoming a repeat bed blocker and having to respond to "And how are we today?".
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I think there are a lot of elderly people out there who would love to have a loving and caring daughter or son and that many would be quite happy with them using 'old dear' as a term of endearment. I like my loved ones calling me 'love' or 'darling' but I don't like the plumber or whatever calling me that. This lady warned us all of a nasty attempted burglary and she has ended up practically being called a racist and not being nice to her mother by members of this site. For what it is worth I really don't like that.
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Thank you Dane, Im glad some people can actually see where im coming from, Im appauled that my use of the term 'old dear' has become more important to some people that the actual reason i posted in the first place which was to save an elderly person from the same distressing fate as i feared he would strike again.
I used the term' your old dears' as 1. old-a person of age or infirmity-vunerable. 2. Dear-someone who is dear to you as their neighbour, friend or relative. I was raised to respect the elderly and myself and my brothers always did the shopping for our elderly neighbours and they were brought into our home when i was a child and given dinner, a wee drink and some good old Irish craic on a Sunday evening after mass. I used to do the shopping for Mr Carter-a lovely old man on Seymour road if anyone remembers him some 38 years ago and would talk to him at regualar intervals through the fence at the bottom of the garden to ensure he was ok during the day even had to get my mum to jump over the 6ft fence when he fell in the garden one day as she was more than capable of doing so-she was a nurse. My brothers were regular helpers for George-dont remember his surname and he was up near the river on Seymour rd.
I offer help to any frail person I see in the supermarket-to go before me in the queue-help packing-offer of a lift home locally with their shopping and have raised my children to do the same to the neighbours where i live now and to mind out especially for a few very frail ones and would even risk the rath by warning them if i felt their bags were too open or left on display in their trolleys in case of pickpockets. I have even stopped my car to help elderly cross the rd on Powys lane as crossings are few and far between and i have witnessed a few dodgy ones who are trying it with frame in tow so felt they were never going to get the opportunity unless i stepped in.
I simply call my mother, 'mum' and would not refer to or address anybody as old dear. It really was ment in the best possible way after all it was the old and frail that i was trying to warn neighbours to look out for. My heart goes out to anybody who is less capable of seeing to the daily chores than able bodied.
And as for colourful language-when a crime is commited against an elderly person or a youngster, especially where extreme fear or violence was used and a weapon- that in itself shocks people to the very core and will promote feelings of anger. This man could have ruined my mothers happy go easy life that she and my late father has worked very hard all their lifes for and no one should think they have the right to encroach on that.
Unfortunately some victims will suffer a decline in health and even die from the trauma caused by this crime, this is my mother whom i have tried to protect for years to keep her safe long before she ever had a stroke-drive her shopping, church etc so she wouldnt be the victim of a mugging or pickpockted in Wood Green or on those blessed long 29's where she had her purse taken countless times so yes i am very angry that the one place she and i assumed she would be safe has been trespassed by a brutal man whom if he wasnt disturbed by our hero of a neighbour -is too frightening a scenario to even think about and even when chatting to the DC last week felt sickened to the pit of my stomach at hearing what the mans excuses could be if charged and brought to court as to why his dna was found on my mums mouth and fingerprints inside her front door and on the bucket where he could come out with the scenario that he had cleaned her windows-I know how us offspring will react to that in the court room and my mum would be firing off a bit of the Kerry temper herself.
The DC said they know of many 'darlings' driving around in SUV's and living the life of riley at the expense of the victims of distraction burglarys where they have lost their life savings to people like this who do it for a living but are so clever covering their tracks as the poor elderly people may be confused with the upset-cant see because of cataracts, poor eyesight and just pure shock so couldnt give good descriptions and was not enough evidence at court and they get away with it each time-he said he finds that sickening and disheartening when he cant deliver the goods and get the perpetrators put away which at least then would give the victim some closure on the anger that they feel. He also called my mum a hero and by god thats what she is. She was in the greatest spirits again this evening during my 6 hour stint there that is does my heart good to know that this fiend will not take from her.
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Meg, I'm sure we're all grateful to you for bringing this attack to our attention and are glad that your mother hasn't been too badly affected by it.
Nobody has said that your use of the term " old dear " is more important than your warning - obviously it's not - but language is a tricky thing and what may seem harmless or affectionate to one person may strike another as offensive so it's no bad thing to point it out. You might have got a similar reaction if you had been reporting a homophobic assault and said " Please warn any poofs you know locally... "
Again, respect to your mother and thanks for the warning.
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And of course I'd go along with that too.
In suggesting a calmer approach to reporting such a scary incident I was not criticising Meg's care for her mother. In making an obvious link with that report on the NHS John D was not equating a thoughtless phrase (which some old people may tolerate) with racism etc. So dane66, don't hype it up.
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In all honesty would i report one crime and commit another myself in doing so?
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