Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!
Tell us a joke!
I found that Steve Jobs chap in my kitchen the other day. He'd got the Mr Sheen, some bees wax and a tin of Brasso.
Bloody Jobs - coming here and taking all of our polish!
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by John D on
-
Liked the one quoted in The Telegraph yesterday -
Is there a B&Q in Henley ?
No - there's an H, an E, an N, an L and a Y, but no B or Q
-
Permalink Reply by Angela on
-
Q: Once upon a time there was an English cat called one two three, and a French cat called un deux trois. One day they decided to have a race across The Channel - but who was the winner?
A: The English cat - because un deux trois, cat sank
-
-
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
-
Permalink Reply by StephenBln on
-
If sex between three people is called a Threesome .
and sex between two people is called a Twosome....
Why is Handsome still a compliment?
I bet I get deleted... .... .... ....
-
Permalink Reply by John McMullan on
-
A lizard is walking through the forest when he hears a coughing sound up in one of the trees. He looks up and sees a monkey smoking in the tree. He says "Hey Monkey, watcha' doing up there?". The monkey replies "I'm having a spliff my cold blooded friend, why don't you come up and join me?". The lizard thinks "well hey, why not?" and climbs the tree to join the monkey. After a while sitting in the tree with the monkey the lizard indicates to his friend that he has to go to the river for a drink because his throat is "dry"... The monkey splutters and waves his hand and the lizard makes his very unsteady way to the riverbank. As he leans in to take a drink he is so wasted that he falls into the water. A nearby crocodile sees this and comes to his rescue. the crocodile is quite shaken at his condition and asks him what is wrong. The lizard tells him about the monkey in the tree and getting stoned. The crocodile leaves the lizard to recover by himself on the riverbank and heads into the jungle in search of the monkey. Before too long he hears a coughing sound up in the tree and calls up "hey monkey!". The monkey looks down astonished and says "Fuuuu**! Duuude! How much water did you driiiink?".
-
Permalink Reply by Chris brock on
-
Okay. So I was talking with my fitness instructor the other day. I said: "Can you teach me gymnastics?" He replied: "How flexible are you?" I said "I can't do Thursdays"
-
Permalink Reply by Julia Snell on
-
Two cannibals eating a clown. One pauses mid-meal and asks the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
-
Permalink Reply by Sandi on
-
A bear was caught short in the woods, needing to do a huuge no.2. He locates a tree, with a sizeable trunk so as not to be seen, squats and the pooing begins. Meanwhile, a beautiful, white-furred bunny rabbit is hopping by, spots the bear and stops to watch. The bear, needless to say, is a little irritated by this, but carries on regardless. When he's finished, the bear stands up, turns to the rabbit and says quite calmly: "Hey, when you do a poo, do you find that poo remnants tend to stick to your fur?" The rabbit, looking a bit put out at the question, replied haughtily: "Never! Poo never sticks to my beautiful fur!" The bear smiled: "That's brilliant!" He then bent down, grabbed the rabbit by his ears, and wiped his sh***y arse with him!
-
Permalink Reply by Justin Guest on
-
Horse walks into a bar. Barman says "Why the long face?"
-
Permalink Reply by pamish on
-
Two eggs boiling in a saucepan.
Egg 1: "Phew, its getting hot in here"
Egg 2: "You wait till you get out. They smash your head in."
© 2024 Created by Hugh.
Powered by
