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Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!

Death Cafe is a worldwide movement, with the simple aim of getting people together to talk about death over coffee and cake.  The subject matter is whatever people bring: worries about your own death or other people's, coping with loss, feelings about funerals - anything death-related.  It's not counselling, and not an information session (though we plan one of those for the New Year), just ordinary people sharing thoughts.

The next Death Cafe Tottenham is on Monday 27 November, 7.0 - 9.0pm, at Blighty India Cafe, 266 High Road, N15 4AJ.  Entry is free, but we hope people will spend a bit in the cafe, as Blighty are letting us use the space without charge.  Jane Morgan and I, who run Death Cafe Tottenham, are both experienced funeral celebrants (ie we conduct secular funerals),  and I've also worked as an undertaker.

Message me here if you have any questions; or register via our Facebook events page: https://www.facebook.com/events/279328145923187/


 Hope to see you on 27th!

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i love the biccys - made me laugh - WONDERFUL

Gruesome, I thought

So you're touting for business? The whole concept sound ghastly.

No, Justin, not touting for business at all, just trying to make it possible for people to have conversations they might want to have, but feel they can't with family or friends.

Not being rude. I just thought the biscuits were reminiscent of voodoo masks.

It’s one of the two things all human beings have in common but while people will discuss birth there is a real and relatively recent taboo around even mentioning death. I have wishes about how my dying should be (if it’s possible) and what should happen to my body when I’m dead so I’ve discussed that with people close to me and written it into my will. Anything that gets people talking about dying and death like grown ups is very welcome.

I'll second those emotions, Michael. I came across events this group was running in Muswell Hill a few years back and started adding them occasionally to our events listings.  Whilst I can't claim to have thought a great deal about how our society handles death, on an intuitive level what this group are doing makes a great deal of sense to me.

I used to be a lawyer. It's amazing how reluctant some people are to write a will or even discuss it. I offered free wills because it's so important, most people took me up on that if they didn't already have one, but one couple in particular put it firmly on the banned topics list. They had a young son too...

Does anyone know of any lawyers here offering the same? I'm looking to buy a new flat next year and ought to update my will while I'm at it.

Not immediately - but several charities inc Amnesty support Free Will Week, I think in Feb, where various solicitors draw up wills for free (& you're encouraged but not obliged to include a donation to the charity).

I'm surprised that people don't know about the Death Cafe movement. Here's an article about its founder who died v young
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/11/international-home/jon-underwood...

In modern times, we avoid the subject of death in ways that previous ages and other cultures don't. Medieval churches were full of reminders of mortality; the Victorians took grief and mourning very seriously; far Eastern cultures teach that, because of death, decisions about the kinds of life we lead must be taken consciously and carefully. Estate planning shouldn't just be about a will and making sure you've got a funeral plan, but also what kind of care and types of remembrance you'd want when faced with your own mortality. Death (even more than taxes which some people seem to avoid) is inevitable. Talking about it isn't gruesome, ghastly or weird but absolutely part of life. I wish the organisers well. That time and date aren't good for me but maybe another time.

When I crossed the Sheugh my first real culture shock was the way the English deal with death. And 32 years later and I still find it odd.   

Is that the Irish Sea or the Atlantic?
What did you expect? That Charon would bring you across for free?

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