Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!
We lost someone today...
Dear Harringay community,
One of the things I love so much about living here is the incredible sense of community. Neighbours who know each other and care, which makes what I am about to say all the more heartbreaking.
Amongst our community are those invisible souls who we see fleetingly and perhaps smile at but nothing more. Last week I came out of my door to find an elderly woman with a shopping trolley on wheels struggling for breath. She was so old and frail I couldn't believe she was alone.
I helped her to Wightman road and to her door, during that brief 20 minutes I found out she had lived here for 40 years - she lived alone - it was sadly clear that she was struggling to take care of herself. I helped her in and a couple of days later I knocked as I wanted to offer her some help, just let her know if she needed shopping I could go for her. No answer. The following day I put a card through the door. Again no answer. This weekend went by. Today I went again as I couldn't stop thinking of her. No answer and I saw my card was still there untouched. I called social services, they had no record of her. They advised I called the police. They had to forcibly enter and found her. She'd passed away alone.
Today we lost Catherine Kibikyo, age unknown, a Haringey resident for 40 years, RIP.
If you have neighbours alone, or think someone might be please please, knock on their doors, don't hesitate too long as I fear I might have...
Thank you for reading x
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Hugh on
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Thank you for sharing this story. A useful reminder to us all. Well done for helping out. It must have counted for something to Catherine that she had someone showing her care during her last days.
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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth on
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This is heartbreaking but also well done you for doing what you did. Knowing how friendly and engaging you are I’m sure that brief chat with you lifted her spirits, and you ensured she was found sooner rather than goodness knows how much later. Rest in peace Catherine.
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Permalink Reply by Michael Anderson on
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Thank you for doing what you could Gemma.
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Permalink Reply by Deborah Peacock on
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So so sad, thank you for being such a kind neighbour ! You did an amazing job !
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Permalink Reply by Maddy on
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This is such a sad story. It's so easy to fall through the cracks of a busy society. I remember a film 'Dreams of a Life' from a few years ago, about a young woman whose skeleton was found at home in Wood Green three years after her death - nobody had noticed, not even her landlords (the council).
Thankfully, due to the involvement of this good neighbour, Ms Kibikyo was spared a similar indignity. I do feel that this neighbourhood has become hugely more connected and friendly since the pandemic - I've lived here 30 years and have never known so many people on my street as I do now. Also the mutual aid Whatsapp groups that were up and running even before the first lockdown have enabled us to help each other out more easily (- this site also does a great job, of course!)
It's the people who aren't on social media, who maybe don't have anyone to check up on their wellbeing, that we need to keep an eye out for.
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Permalink Reply by Gemma Daborn on
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I completely agree Maddy, I don't think Catherine even had a landline phone - those without phones or any other form of modern tech communication are more vulnerable to being forgotten...
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Permalink Reply by Redruby on
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I remember that story/case well, it was above the shopping city now the mall. And it was more shocking that it showed Haringey’s lack of debt collecting, considering the way they go on, that this poor person was up there dead, and not even the council had realised!
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Permalink Reply by pamish on
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Yes the unforgettable Dreams of a Life, about Joyce Carol Vincent.
The film showed that her finances were all on direct debits which kept being paid, presume an income too IIRC. Makes me realise that the same could happen to me.
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Permalink Reply by Alison P on
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Thank you Gemma. What a sad story, but thank you for looking out for Catherine and for telling us about her.
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Very sad. A great testimony to such a diverse community that there are still people who care enough to make an effort.Hats off to you all in Harringay.
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