Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!

Could you pass the UK citizenship test?

Try this little guardian quiz to see.

For the record, no I didn't. Deport me somewhere nice and warm, near a beach please.

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Permalink Reply by Germana on October 11, 2011 at 20:53

Thanks Liz - glad to hear I'm not the only one finding it hard. I have "produced" two mini British citizens but to become British myself I have to pass this test, which is not that easy, and pay something like £700 (last time I checked - probably more now). The easiest questions for me are those about the European Union, which feature regularly in practice tests, but those are the ones that pretty much any Brit would fail to know anything about...

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Permalink Reply by StephenBln on October 11, 2011 at 21:59

Most Brits wouldn't know either .. but that's the point of the test... to be sure you fail.. it's full of nasty 'reversed' prejudices.. like coming to get a 'free education' and 'free health system' .. bah.. and the photo of Boris giving a n+zi salute to the Queen sums it all up nicely..

if you can speak German.. here is our test: http://www1.spiegel.de/active/quiztool/fcgi/quiztool.fcgi?id=33047

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Permalink Reply by Germana on October 11, 2011 at 21:05

I tried and failed of course, by the way! Got the EU question right, even though, just as I remembered the book and the mock tests are full of mistakes on the EU anyway (the Council is not THE "governing body" of the EU).

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Permalink Reply by Liz on October 11, 2011 at 21:24

I failed by 2 and to my shame got the EU question wrong. I mostly got the 'how many' questions wrong. Of course, all 'proper' British people know how many children there are here and how many hours they are allowed to do paper rounds for.
Perhaps we should have some real cultural questions like Name 4 Doctor Whos or What is Marmite?

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Permalink Reply by Claudia Clare on October 11, 2011 at 21:43

or 'what is a Victoria Sponge?' or 'Is Eastenders a drama or a documentary?'

I failed miserably... *Gets out rucksack*

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Permalink Reply by Liz on October 11, 2011 at 23:44

Twitterati had a go at writing the real citizenship test tonight. Can't believe we haven't had more questions from the witty keyboards of Harringay and environs!

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Permalink Reply by StephenBln on October 12, 2011 at 6:58

some good ones there Liz .. plenty to giggle at..

I liked .. In Britain any woman not pregnant by the age of 15 is deemed infertile and burnt as a witch, true or partly true.

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Permalink Reply by John D on October 12, 2011 at 7:31

What is HOL?

a) Source of all knowledge.

b) A barter economy, based on cats.

c) a disinformation forum, run by Tesco.

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Permalink Reply by Old-Age-Emporium(OAE) on October 11, 2011 at 21:31

What a load of tripey but boneheaded questions to pass a citizenship test! So what do the rest of us speak in Northern Ireland? Do the buggers themselves know? And I think schools are meant to open 195(not 190) days a year to give teachers a chance to (a) tidy their cupboards (b) talk about last night's Eastenders (c) get insetted (d) catch up on their steamy affairs. But, Germana, don't waste your time boning up on those idiotic questions just in order to swear an oath to a vague little sub-German monarch (Jeez, Germana, you did get rid of Vittorio Emmanuel a while ago!) in ho-ho splutter! Wood Green Civic Centre in front of (more splutter!) Mayor Gina Adamou! No, no, Liz is right. Get yourself deported to a beach near Paphos or Limassol - and take Gina with you.

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Permalink Reply by Germana on October 11, 2011 at 22:21

Ha ha! Yes swearing allegiance to the Queen in Wood Green Civic Centre is not something I look forward to (or maybe I do, could be a laugh) but yes, sooner or later I'll have to pass the stupid test. I live here, pay taxes, have children, use services, but will never have the right to vote and I am barred from certain jobs if I don't do anything about it. Cameron said there will be more questions about British history - well bring them on, better than this silly stuff.