Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!
Bizarre calls to council customer services
The next time you feel a bit frustrated with council customer services, spare a thought for the chaps and chapettes at the other end who have to field some pretty strange calls at times, including: someone attempting to register the death of someone who is still alive; one caller to Surrey County Council wanted to know whether he was allowed to roll up a zebra crossing; a motorist in Sutton who discovered her car was in a different parking spot when she returned from a shopping trip asked if the car park was haunted.
The top 10 bizarre calls to councils:
1) 'Can I register the death of a person even though they aren¹t dead yet?' (Surrey)
2) 'I've tried the number given on your website for the library but it doesn't work.'
'What was the number?'
'0900 1800'
'I'm sorry those are the times the library is open between.' (Surrey)
3) I've heard there are dolphins in Cardigan Bay and we'd like to travel down for the day to see them. What time do they start?'
(Ceredigion)
4) 'Do you know where I could get an old bath that I could fill with custard?' (Sutton)
5) 'Can you explain the plot of 'She Stoops to Conquer'?' (East Dorset District Council¹s Tourist Information Centre)
6) 'Am I allowed to shoot a gun across a public footpath?' (Surrey)
7)'A local resident in Cologne, Germany: 'I am standing at a bus stop and the bus hasn't turned up what should I do next?' (East Dorset District Council¹s Tourist Information Centre)
8) 'Am I allowed to roll up a zebra crossing?' (Surrey)
9) 'Can you tell me the make of the guns your pest control officers use to shoot starlings as I'd like to buy one?'(Northumberland)
10) 'A local resident in South Korea: Can you order me a Christmas turkey from the butchers please?' (East Dorset District Council's Tourist Information Centre)
via LocalGov.co.uk
The top 10 bizarre calls to councils:
1) 'Can I register the death of a person even though they aren¹t dead yet?' (Surrey)
2) 'I've tried the number given on your website for the library but it doesn't work.'
'What was the number?'
'0900 1800'
'I'm sorry those are the times the library is open between.' (Surrey)
3) I've heard there are dolphins in Cardigan Bay and we'd like to travel down for the day to see them. What time do they start?'
(Ceredigion)
4) 'Do you know where I could get an old bath that I could fill with custard?' (Sutton)
5) 'Can you explain the plot of 'She Stoops to Conquer'?' (East Dorset District Council¹s Tourist Information Centre)
6) 'Am I allowed to shoot a gun across a public footpath?' (Surrey)
7)'A local resident in Cologne, Germany: 'I am standing at a bus stop and the bus hasn't turned up what should I do next?' (East Dorset District Council¹s Tourist Information Centre)
8) 'Am I allowed to roll up a zebra crossing?' (Surrey)
9) 'Can you tell me the make of the guns your pest control officers use to shoot starlings as I'd like to buy one?'(Northumberland)
10) 'A local resident in South Korea: Can you order me a Christmas turkey from the butchers please?' (East Dorset District Council's Tourist Information Centre)
via LocalGov.co.uk
Tags for Forum Posts: customer services
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Clive Carter on
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I feel that most of these questions could have been fielded by an imaginative 'operative' –
1) 'Can I register the death of a person even though they aren¹t dead yet?' (Surrey)
Yes, if you can supply the time, date and place of impending death.
3) I've heard there are dolphins in Cardigan Bay and we'd like to travel down for the day to see them. What time do they start?'
(Ceredigion)
10:45 AM on Weekdays, except Wednesdays.
4) 'Do you know where I could get an old bath that I could fill with custard?' (Sutton)
You'd be better off with a shower stall. Have you considered a "wet room"?
5) 'Can you explain the plot of 'She Stoops to Conquer'?' (East Dorset District Council¹s Tourist Information Centre)
Bad backs cause real damage to the economy and are a major reason for disability payment. Don't attempt to conquer baths of custard.
6) 'Am I allowed to shoot a gun across a public footpath?' (Surrey)
Only if you are willing to register beforehand the death of the dolphin you're shooting at.
7)'A local resident in Cologne, Germany: 'I am standing at a bus stop and the bus hasn't turned up what should I do next?' (East Dorset District Council¹s Tourist Information Centre)
Refer to a timetable?
8) 'Am I allowed to roll up a zebra crossing?' (Surrey)
No, these must be professionally folded up by council operatives
9) 'Can you tell me the make of the guns your pest control officers use to shoot starlings as I'd like to buy one?'(Northumberland)
Purdy
10) 'A local resident in South Korea: Can you order me a Christmas turkey from the butchers please?' (East Dorset District Council's Tourist Information Centre)
Butchers don't do turkeys. Only dogs and dolphins.
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