Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!
Icelandic banks - statement by the Leader of the Council
Tags for Forum Posts: Icelandic banks crisis, taxpayers' money
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Eddie Finnegan on
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Yes, George. I'm already saving up a double tranche of Council Tax for your Christmas stocking. We'll not let you down but those two diamond geysers, Gordon and Alistair, certainly will. Have a word with your friend Hazel.
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Permalink Reply by Clive Carter on
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It is possible that "frontline council services will not be affected", at least in the short term, but not because "we have sound and prudent financial management in place to protect against such risks."
It is possible that these large sums - even larger than the disgraceful so-called "debt" that this council up until recently claimed was owed to it by Alexandra Palace - were not At Call, but on deposit for fixed terms, where maturity is some time away. This may have been in order to help fund the crippling council pensions liabilities from which every council taxpayer suffers. The pain, if pain there be, is some way off.
The Leader's statement is suprising in its complacency, but I suppose we shouldn't be too surprised; this council takes responsibility only for the things that go right and when things go wrong, expects the government to bail it out. But what if the government can't or won't bail it out?
"We follow tight government guidelines ..." - but the council seems to have adopted the letter but not the spirit of the guidelines about limiting exposure to any one bank to £20m. It is hard to make sense of the claim of "... and have a good track record for financial management" When the £10m losses from a failed computer scheme, disastrous policies at Alexandra Palace and uncollected rent and rates, all add up.
"This issue is the result of the problems in the world economy.” Haringey has never lived within its means and there is no hint here of any need to cut back on council waste - for example, their propaganda division.
I am not soothed by the soothing words!
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Permalink Reply by Alan Stanton on
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Parkinson's Law of Triviality observes the phenomenon that the more complex and important the issue, the less time is spent on it by organisations. Local Council bodies can offer almost textbook examples: with councillors nodding-through huge projects; while arguing at great length about the grant for some small voluntary organisation, or the merits of a new logo.
However Parkinson didn't spot that his 'Law' only holds up to a certain level.
When the sums involved become mind-bendingly enormous, absolutely everybody has cast-iron opinions about it and asserts them endlessly with supreme confidence. Even more so when every wheel seems to be coming off the wagon. At this point, not only are the soothsayers in full spate; it turns out they have been saying their sooths all along.
They knew house prices were about to free-fall; they warned that banks would go bust. And if only we'd listened when they told us to hang onto Daisy at the Co-op Dairy and not be tempted by a bag of magic Icelandic beans.
Of course, like everyone else, I am interested to learn how all our very clever, sophisticated banking experts across the entire UK, in Holland and other countries - exercising due diligence and reading their financial papers, all came to believe that a country with a few more people than Haringey and slightly less than Cardiff was a safer bet for millions of pounds than in a sock under the bed.
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Permalink Reply by John McMullan on
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Excellent book on the subject.
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Totally bananas
I've just got off the phone from a relation in Belgium. She claims that in Amsterdam zoo there's a chimpanzee who is fed bananas that are arranged on some kind of matrix and the bananas have labels attached with numbers on them. These numbers relate to companies listed on the stock exchange. Which banana is picked to eat by the chimp is the company whose shares one should buy on the exchange.
Over a period of time, this method of stock-picking has on average, beaten the market index. As a one-time stock broker myself, I have to say that this innovation appears to make a lot of analysts and researchers in the City, redundant.
Just as war is too important to be left to the generals, banking is to important to be left to bankers. Banks are different from other companies and they need re-regulation - and I've said that before!
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What's the difference between an Icelandic or Canary Wharf seagull and a former Landsbanki or Lehman Bros fatcat?
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Eddie, the strictly scientific answer is that the fat cat is undoubtedly Schrödinger's sleek well-fed puss. Which is both there and not there at precisely the same moment. So your money is perfectly safe until you actually need it. At which point there is uncertainty and an objective bank collapse.
The seagulls? Unscientifically they always crap on you and then fly out of reach.
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Alan, this is a more brilliant answer than I can promise you. However, on the principle that 'All Must have Prizes', my riddle remains open for the remaining 900+ answers.
By coincidence Herr Schro*dinger's cat miaowed plaintively in my ear the other day as I read a 'Tablet' report on the latest steps in the attempted beatification of John Henry Cardinal Newman. But that's a story for another thread.
*Excuse missing umlaut.
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I am beginning to feel REALLY sorry for those 320,000 people. So much for compassion and forgiveness. I always wanted those anti-terrorism laws to be used against the warped b*stards in the city who were short selling perfectly good companies but I'm starting to feel icky about them being used against the Icelanders.
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After nearly 24 hours with only Alan's answer to my seagull riddle, I must do the honourable thing and declare him the winner. He gets 1st prize: the Leadership of Haringey Labour and Council with immediate effect. This bauble has apparently been in my gift for some time, wrapped up in a bundle of sub-prime mortgages in my possession. We are glad to see it in good hands.
The Answer: The seagull, without a second thought or backward glance, can still place a large deposit on a couple of Ferraris, an Aston Martin DBS, a Maserati GranTurismo, a pair of Porsches, a Lamborghini Superleggera, two Jags, a Rolls-Royce Drophead and a luxury ocean-going yacht - all in one fell swoop.
(Your ex-fatcat, it seems, is forced to use his taxpayers' vouchers to buy them all as a job-lot.)
Alan, enjoy the perks.
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Eddie, Nice riddle. And I am truly lost for words at the great honour you have bestowed.
Or was, for about ten minutes while my head expanded. Then another ten minutes while I ordered a webcam and new widescreen PC, ample enough to view said head.
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