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agapanthus, crocosmia, heuchera, bronze fennel, rudbeckia. i have only rarely had to water any of them.
I planted lavender on a relative's grave about twenty years back and it thrives still today.
Whichever plants/flowers Ronald chooses, a mixture of vermiculite into a layer of compost (?? 1:5 or stronger) would probably help to retain moisture from normal rainfall - not necessarily over the whole grave but in clumps here and there.
(I think herself indoors is planning for pyracantha, greenbriar and nettles when she finally gets me planted. With a suitably doleful yew in the corner, I trust. HOL members cordially invited to pee on the grave for moisturising purposes.)
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