Liverpool's Holy Saturday Massacre

I hate to give NUT-bashers ammunition but I fear I may have to relinquish my 45-year old membership after this muddled massacre of the lingo:

METRO report: "NUT conference heard today good teachers are 'dropping like files' due to the pressures of inspections."  (All those bloody ring-binders for Ofsted, I expect). 'We owe it to all our teachers who are literally being torn to bits by Michael Gove and Sir Michael Wilshaw and their band of crocodiles and lions," NUT member Liam Conway told Conference."  (Worse than the Somme - a case of donkeys being fed to lions and crocodiles.)

I'm hoping and praying that the METRO made it up - though they're probably not that smart. And a teacher with an intelligent Irish name like 'Liam Conway' too!  Oh the shame of it.

Should I demand a refund of my 45 years' of Union Dues?  Or should I go to Liverpool and commit harakiri on the Conference platform with a blunt razor blade and a pair of compasses? The speakers' guillotine might have more class and less mess.

Eddie Finnegan Rtd.

Islington Local

ps. On third thoughts, maybe I'll just return my Countdown Discount Card in high dudgeon and umbrageous outrage. Liam Conway could use it for a discount on a Literacy or Literary course.