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Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!


Are you fed up with Tele marketeers?





Tags for Forum Posts: consumer, issues, telemarketeers

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Very handy, thanks.

But I never get beyond the line: could you tell me how you found this phone number?

Sometimes I save that question till after I've chatted to them for 20 minutes or so, if they catch me in my lunch break.


Nice! I find a quick f'off does the trick too. Or if you ask how they got your number they'll hang up..

Or - " Do you have anyone who speaks English ? "


Actually, thinking about it, I'm sure the people making the call would rather be doing something more interesting but it's the only job they can get. Don't be nasty to them or waste their time - just hang up.

I'll try that one next time, that's a good one. The worst one I've ever had was someone who called, clearly from India, and asked for my husband. She claimed to be able to help with his "gambling problem". For the record, my husband does not have a gambling problem, but what if he did, and our marriage was on the line because of it? What damage could a call like that potentially do? Just asking..

In posting the link to Counterscript, I was mainly thinking of the fake tech-support calls about the operating system known as "Windows".


In respect of the virus phone scams run from call centres in India (probably Kota in Rajasthan), I agree with the poster on this Guardian page who said:


Wasting these scumbags time should be seen as a public duty for every computer literate person in the UK.

Caution: on the Guardian link above, some of the suggested methods of dealing with this scam are so funny they should not be read by anyone with cardiological issues.

I liked 'sorry mate I can't help you, I'm just a burglar who answered the phone'.


and the attractive philosophical twist - 'Sorry, I don't have a phone'.


One often thinks of clever responses ... later on. For example if I'd been quicker thinking, in reponse to:


"how can you say that, I am like your brother".


despite my not having a brother, I could have said, "you mean like my brother Manesh who's in prison for fraud?"

If anyone hasn't heard the Tom Mabe ad hoc counter-script, they may wish to to do so. 

Telemarketer Mike, in Colorado, unwittingly calls American comedian Tom Mabe. Tom pretends to be Officer Clark, a policeman at a murder scene. He asks the telemarketer about his involvement with the late Mr Mabe.



Disclaimer: read and listen at your own risk

Text and audio


Youtube (better audio)



For those Bangalore calls about 'problems with your Windows', try 'Yes, yes my good friend, I need your help urgently. Do you do triple glazing?'

The kinds of scripts that Counter Script counters

Here's another one: "I am calling because you have a fault with your Windows computer". "I don't have a Windows computer". Massive confusion. Click.


Or: I am calling about your mortgage. I don't have a mortgage. Huh? Is this such and such address? No. Are you not a home owner? No. Massive confusion, and much reading of script. Click.


Hah! Just lie. Confuses the hell out of them.

As a general principle, I think its good to establish that you need to identify the caller.

After all, they know your number, probably can quote correctly your name and they may know your address and goodness knows what else.

With an unsolicited call, you know nothing about them and there is no reason to trust anything they say.

I think its entirely legitimate to point these things out, including that you have never heard of their company (ask for its address)

It's also vital to remember the potential for fun.

One gentleman from India rang attempting to scam me. On telling him I had no reason to trust him, he said in hurt, child-like tones, "how can you say that, I am like your brother".

They know no shame.




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