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Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!

 

On my walk along the New River at the weekend we came across a point where the path is overhung by two horse chestnut trees. I was amazed to find the ground below strewn with ungathered conkers. A treasure trove when I was a kid. Is it too early in the year? Is this just hidden treasure? Or do kids no longer fight with conkers?

 

 

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We saw some too. But when I explained the conkers concept to my 6-year old, he had no idea what I was on about. Didn't schools ban them from the playground?

We go conker gathering and have had a go at conkers. My kids were a bit small before now to get the point but we're going to have a proper go this year. Clissold Park is always full of ungathered conkers. 

Most 'outside' things are banned in the playground these days, they cause too much hassle, be they conkers, trading cards, marbles and all the other junk we used to trail to school in those rose coloured days known as 'the best years of our life'

I always keep the first one of the year in my pocket. They are so beautiful both to hold and to look at. 

 

First one this year was last Wednesday. That seems early.

 

Also alleged to keep spiders at bay, so they are scattered around every doorway here.

I've already picked up conkers this year at Pymmes Park and on the way round to Hornsey library. They don't stay shiny for long but I like them while they do. The horse chestnut trees are looking pretty manky again, is it leaf cutter moth? but they seem to be surviving it.

I remember conker fights being potentially quite painful - suffering some pain creates a little crisis in your life. Losing a favourite conker to a rival also seems to be a bit of a tragedy at the time. Being hit on the head by the stick you've thrown up into the tree to get the conkers before they are ready is also something of a life lesson. If our children are denied these minor training crises in childhood how are they going to cope with real crises when they encounter them? The crisis by proxy you encounter in Grand Theft Streets of Raging Warfare games where the actual pain and suffering is nil, are not the same.

I think Liz is a bit harsh ( or possibly ironic) describing such things as junk , Hugh is closer with treasure trove.

When you are a kid, it's treasure. When you have a kid, it's junk. I'm often still carrying conkers around in my handbag the following March, and if you've stood on jacks in bare feet, you will know the true meaning of pain.
So when do we stop being kids? Is it something I should look forward to?
I will resist the obvious joke about men never growing up but I think its when you have knee pain for three days after playing hopscotch and your ability to memorise the characteristics of every single Pokemon is severely impaired. What age when these things happen to you are probably a personal thing.

Of course, what I should have written was:

" 'Ow d'you know they're Jack's?" "Cause Jack's still attached to them!"

or to quote another extremely relevant Lonnie Donegan quip:

Q. "What's green, has eight legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a horse chestnut tree ?"

A. "A billiard table"

 

No, I took you at your word - attack you said, skewer I recommended. These were spoof instructions written with my tongue in my cheek and a skewer in my palm. Please do not try this at home. 

Place the conker in a vice or between the jaws of a workmate and drill all the way through it using a sharp bit on a very  slow drill speed.

Soaking the conker in vinegar or baking it in a low oven often used to be recommended as techniques for improving longevity, though the purist may frown upon such measures.

Here's how not to do it

You rest the conker on your left palm cupping it firmly so that it remains still. You then take a meat skewer in your right hand and push it into the top of the conker. The skewer then pierces the conker leaving a hole of sufficient size to thread a string. I could once have shown you the scars on my left palm. Another of life's lessons learnt once and for all

 

Surely iPads and such gadgets have virtual conkers, marbles, spinning tops, skittles? Who needs leave their bedroom these days?
We collect basket loads of them and build imaginary animals connecting the conkers with toothpicks.  A friend swears that keeping them in the house keep the spiders away.  And the unused ones are stolen by the squirrels in the garden.

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