Harringay, Haringey - So Good they Spelt it Twice!
to turn a blind eye or not to turn a blind eye
Yesterday I was walking towards crouch end via the Hornsey over ground bridge.
As I came out of the exit by the bust stop I notice four young lads behaving oddly around another young lad who was sitting at the bus stop by himself. I slowed down to make sure the single boy was ok and then noticed they were stealing his money.
Not really knowing what to do I just stopped and looked back, not speaking but trying to express that I was aware the other four boys were being inappropriate. They noticed me and started to make noises about moving on but commenting that the single boy had more money to be had. I asked if the single boy was ok and he answered that he was. The other boys were leaving by now so I asked if the single boy knew these others and he said no
By this time we were alone and the single boy said there was nothing we could do and for the sake of a bit of change he would rather not protest in anyway. He also said the fact that I intervened could mean that they could make more trouble for him and take it out on him another time. He was very polite but clearly unhappy that I had intervened.
I had to carry on my way by this point not knowing if the boys would come back before the bus arrived or whether he will get a beating next time they see him becuase I tried to help!
I feel awful about this. I am not happy that so many people feel they have to turn a blind eye to this sort of behaviour and in my case even if you do this could in fact make things worse.
I understand that putting myself (or another in this instance it seems) is not necessarily the best option but I also
A – do not want to behave like it is ok for people to get away with this behaviour
And
B - do not want to feel bad for trying to help
Does anyone have any suggestions on how this sort of situation should be dealt with?
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Alison P on
-
What a depressing story. I think you did absolutely the right thing. What is the alternative? If we all end up never getting involved, either because of fear of the consequences for ourselves or for the other person, we'd basically be standing back and allowing the bullies of this world to take over. Maybe this boy felt he could handle it if you didn't intervene; but what if he hadn't felt that way and you'd just walked on by. I do hope he is wrong though, and that he doesn't suffer any consequences as a result. Obviously there is a personal safety thing too, that obviously needs to be taken into account - but standing back in the way you did sounds pretty sensible to me.
I remember being on a train once and a young woman was being terribly abused by the man she was with - loads of shouting and pinching. I was with a work colleague and we asked if she was okay and if we could do anything - she said no and they then got off at the next stop. What horrified me was that after they got off a couple of older women turned round to us and said "it's okay, they were together, he must be her boyfriend"! Amazing ..
-
Permalink Reply by Rachella on
-
You are assuming that the boy who said he wished you haden't intervened was correct. What if you'd ignored the situation and it became more violent?
If any of my young relatives are being bullied I absolutely hope that a kind adult will take the time to diffuse a potentially dangerous situation, just as you did.
-
Permalink Reply by Pinenut on
-
My husband works in A&E and was concerned as he has seen too many people come into A&E after trying to help. I think it is just in my nature to do what I can if I feel safe enough to do it and I would hope that if I felt very threatened Iwould be sensible
-
-
I posted a note about this on the Haringey safer neighbourhoods website and Sgt Steve Whiting called me.
I was very impressed with how seriously they took this and his advice as far as the best way to deal with a situation like this is to stand a few feet away and call 999
That way you hopefully can help deal with the situation without putting yourself in danger.
http://www.met.police.uk/teams/haringey/index.php
-
Permalink Reply by Hugh on
-
They're very keen to engage Jo. They'd love to be able to more on HoL but Met policy makes it difficult.
-
Permalink Reply by ElleCarumba on
-
Sounds like you did the right thing. What if he had been desperate for someone to step in?
Perhaps he was just a bit embarrassed about needing to be "saved". Teenage boys are easily embarrassed and maybe he was just trying to brush you off because he felt awkward.
Were the boys all in school uniform? Would it have been possible to identify the schools at least which might help the SNT.
-
-
Unfortunatly there is nothing they can actually do about this inccident as the boy has not reported it himself. It was more to take note incase another report comes in and also to give advice on how best to deal with these things.
-
Permalink Reply by Sapphireblue on
-
Hi a crime was being committed a robbery was taking place. Report it to police and if they try and fob you off tell them youwant a crime ref no. You did the right thing. You cd also report it to Police Safer Neighbourhood team. See website.
© 2024 Created by Hugh.
Powered by
